Summer Tourism

April 2008

I seem to have Spring Fever this year. I'm tired of the snow. I want to be able to go outside and enjoy the weather, take a walk or mess with the sqirrel's minds. Soon it will be Summer and that means lazy afternoons, calm nights, unattractive people in swimsuits and groovy lightning storms. It also means Summer travel, tourists and soaring gas prices. I'm not sure if I'll go very far this Summer, but I decided I would try to give Idaho's tourism a boost. Perhaps you're thinking, "Why would anyone want to go to Idaho?" There really are dozens of reasons to visit the Gem State. I have created a few tourism slogans for places in our naturesque territory. I hope the Idaho Tourism Board is smart enough to follow my lead.

More than just Famous Potatoes, there are a lot of Sugar Beets too.

Idaho, fewer Mormons than Utah

Come for the fishing, stay to laugh at hicks.

The white supremecists are gone so you'll have be nice to minorities.

Boise- Enjoy Basque food while sitting through the longest traffic lights in the world!

Pocatello- We have 3 McDonaldses

Visit Craters of the Moon, there's a crapload of rocks!

What's that smell?!? Lewiston, Idaho

St. Anthony- We have...um...sand dunes.

Idaho- As featured in the Onion.

Sun Valley- We've removed all of the unsitely poor people.

Snake River Gorge- The best place to hide dead bodies.

Rigby- That guy who invented TV is from here. Seriously, we have a museum.

St. Maries- The perfect setting for a Stephen King novel.

Sandpoint- It's close to Canada.

Lava Hot Springs- World Famous Hot Pools and the loosest Bingo cards in Idaho.

We elect gays, we just don't let them have any other rights.

Preston- Come to the Napoleon Dynamite Festival!

Arco- First city to be powered by Atomic Energy. True there's nothing here worth powering, but it's still cool.

Hey Columbians! Tired of cocaine? Try smuggling our famous Garnett Opals in your anal cavity!