Now for Something Pointless and Academic!

September 2008

In honor of school starting up again, here is something pointless and academic. Enjoy!

 

Esperanto is the Quintessiential Language.

As humanity becomes increasingly gobal, it is important that all societies share a language that is neither esoteric nor abstruse. For this reason, I propose that Esperanto is the world's quintessential language. I will present my reasoning for this assertion in very perspicuous terms as I do not wish to confuse those with exiguous intellects.

 

Each letter has one unique sound

Consonants Vowels & diphthongs
Letter English Letter English
b b a ah
c ts e eh
ĉ ch i ee
d d o oh
f f u oo
g hard g
(as in go)		    
ĝ j aj bye
h h au bough
h loch ej bay
j y eu eh-oo
ĵ zh oj boy
k k uj buoy
l l
m m
n n
p p
r r (rolled)
s s
ŝ sh
t t
v v
z z

 

Each part of speech has a unique word ending

nouns end in o Esperanto
adjectives end in a esperanta
adverbs end in e esperante
Verbs
Infinitive -i kanti
Present -as kantas
Past -is kantis
Future -os kantos
Jussive -u kantu
Conditional -us kantus
Progressive -inta kantinta
Past Participle -ita kantita

 

Now that you know pretty much everything, here are some useful phrases:

Hi, my name is______.
Saluton, mi nomiĝas______.

How are you?
Kiel vi fartas?

Where is the bathroom?
Kie estas la banejo?

Where is a good restaurant?
Kie estas iu bono restoracio?

I speak a little Esperanto.
Mi parolas poka Esperanton.

Is that cat riding a unicycle?
Ĉu tio kato radjinta uniciklon?

I can't dance, I'm pregnant.
Mi ne povas danci, mi estas graveda.

I love baroque doorknobs!
Mi amas pordo-teniloj baroka!

Are you sure you're not a cop?
Ĉu vi certa kio vi ne estas polico?

Alcohol is the drink of sinners and prositutes!
Alkoholaĵo estas trinkaĵo de pekantoj kaj ĉiesulino!

I cut you man!
Mi trancas vin homo!

The warp drive is malfunctioning.
La motoro varpa malfunkciiĝi.

Your food tastes like whale vomit.
Via manĝaĵo gustas kiel vomo de baleno.

 

For more academic enjoyment, watch this clip from the movie 'Incubus'. It's the only film shot entirely in Esperanto. It stars William Shatner and a bunch of people you've never heard of.